It has to be said that some people have absolutely no sense of humour. They just can’t see the funny side of anything.
Luke’s boyfriend Trevor was one of those people, or at least Luke currently thought so.
“Come on, Trev. Lighten up. It was just a little joke, a jest, a tease, ha-ha and all that.”
Alas, Trevor was in Queen Victoria mode.
“Well I’m not amused, not at all.”
Luke sighed. Obviously Trev had had a humour bypass operation on the quiet and it had been a complete success. He made his voice sound ingratiating. “I’m sorry if I upset you, but it’s not really my fault, not when you think about it. You did say ‘anything’ you did, admit it.”
“Come out from under that bed, you coward, and we’ll discuss the subject of literality face to face.”
“Do I have your assurance that you won’t harm so much as a hair on my chinny-chin-chin?”
“No. I’m going to strangle you. I have the right after what you’ve done.”
“Then I’m staying put.”
“Fine,” the bed springs creaked ominously and the mattress went down. “I can wait.”
Luke knew that had the bed not been custom made of solid oak, requiring at least three strong people to shift it, Trevor would have flung it aside by now and collared him.
He tried again to justify his action. “You’ve hardly spoken a word to me all week. It’s been all work, work, work. You know what they say, all work and no play makes Trevor a dull boy and Luke a bored and fed up one. I just wanted to grab your attention. Call it a domestic marketing ploy”
“I’ll ploy you when I get my hands on you.”
“Come on, don’t you think it was a little bit funny?”
Trevor’s reply was emphatic.
“No.”
“You wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t told you.”
“True, but you did tell me, Luke, so I do know, and I’m not happy about it.”
“You ate it all, so you must have enjoyed it an itsy bit?”
“I ate it all because I was ravenous and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying how disgusting it was.”
Aw, Luke smiled, that was his Trevor, all caring thoughtfulness.
“However, when I lay hands on you I’m going to hurt more than your fucking feelings. I’m going to rip off your arms and beat you to death with the soggy ends.”
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