Malcolm watched as Guy walked away, whistling cheerfully as he did so, hands casually in his pockets as if he didn't have a care in the world. Perhaps as far as Guy was concerned he didn't, but Malcolm wondered how that could be when Guy was keeping secrets from the man he claimed to love.
Only last night, Guy had held Malcolm in his arms and declared how very much he was loved, how Malcolm was Guy's whole world. Malcolm had so wanted to believe Guy; he needed to believe the man that he loved with all his heart and soul. Much to his great sorrow and abiding despair, he couldn't. So Malcolm pasted a smile on his lips and tasted ash as he told Guy that he loved Guy, too and that he always would. That he had never loved anyone as he loved Guy. True words; words that should be joyously spoken, not given in despair and thrown away on stony ground to lie untended and uncared for.
For once not reading Malcolm properly, not seeing his lover's hidden pain, Guy had merely smiled his pleasure and kissed and caressed Malcolm. Malcolm allowed the intimacy with a passion borne of pain and not joy.
Guy had slept peacefully afterward, arms wrapped around Malcolm, his head resting on Malcolm's chest. Malcolm, however, was unable to settle and lay awake watching Guy sleep, wondering how Guy could sleep the sleep of the innocent when Malcolm knew his lover was guilty of deception.
Malcolm couldn't understand what had gone wrong, what had caused Guy to need the love of another. Guy had seemed so content, so happy in his relationship with Malcolm. Malcolm's mind drifted back to the day when he thought all his dreams had come true... |
